Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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