He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
