:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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