this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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