I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
