fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
