I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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