the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We had sex on a dog bed..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
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On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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