Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
