therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
