I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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