I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
