worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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