He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
