return my video game
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
