Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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