if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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