Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
