I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I will pee on everything he values.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
