God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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