Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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