I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
