Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
