i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
