lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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