i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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