six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
