all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
