There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
