Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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