The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
