return my video game
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
