she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
