Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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