I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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