My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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