he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
