I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
