So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
