Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
