i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
