Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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