I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
