So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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