My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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