So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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