In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
