Just fell off a train. Bad.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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