please come you make the beer taste better
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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