I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
