dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
