Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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