I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
