Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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