im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
