Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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