Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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