scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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