i jhust puked up my retainher.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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