So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bring me that man meat
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize