okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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