I just cut my nipple shaving
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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