Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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