You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize