Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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