And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
