i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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