i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
