I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Shame - the story of my life.
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