need another drink. this is the easiest way
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
